The 7 Most Ridiculous Science Studies That Wasted Millions
Science is meant to expand our knowledge and solve real-world problems, but sometimes, research projects get funding that makes absolutely no sense. Millions of dollars have been spent on studies that confirm what common sense already tells us—or, even worse, on things nobody needed to know in the first place.
Here’s a list of seven of the most ridiculous and expensive science studies ever conducted.
1. Can Chickens Walk Like Dinosaurs? (2015) – $390,000
Researchers strapped fake dinosaur tails to chickens to observe how it changed their walking pattern. The goal? To better understand how dinosaurs might have moved.
The results: Chickens moved differently with a tail attached. Shocking!
Why it’s ridiculous:
We already have fossil evidence and computer simulations to study dinosaur movement.
Instead of turning chickens into dinosaurs, scientists could have funded real paleontology research.
Almost $400K spent to prove that a chicken with a tail… walks differently?
2. Why Do Cookies Break When Dunked in Tea? (1999) – $3.5 M
British scientists were given a multi-million-dollar grant to investigate why biscuits break when dunked in tea.
The results: Cookies crack because of moisture absorption and structural weakness. (What a revelation!)
Why it’s ridiculous:
Any grandma with a cup of tea could have explained this for free.
Instead of studying cookie physics, the money could have been used for real food science research.
$3.5 million wasted on proving what we all already knew.
3. Do Shrimp Get High on Drugs? (2019) – $3 M+
Researchers in the UK tested shrimp from rivers to see if they were exposed to drugs from wastewater.
The results: Yes, the shrimp contained traces of cocaine, antidepressants, and other pharmaceuticals.
Why it’s ridiculous:
Of course, wastewater pollution affects wildlife. That’s not new information.
Instead of testing shrimp for drugs, they could have funded water purification projects.
Now we know that shrimp might be slightly high, but how does this help anyone?
4. Do Drunk People Dance Differently? (2017) – $850,000
Scientists studied how alcohol affects dancing styles by getting volunteers drunk and filming them.
The results: Drunk people move their arms more and use wider leg stances. (Wow.)
Why it’s ridiculous:
Any wedding or nightclub already provides free evidence of this.
Instead of filming drunk dancers, they could have researched alcohol’s real social effects.
Almost a million dollars was spent proving what every bartender already knows.
5. How Long Can a Cow Walk on a Treadmill? (2013) – $500,000
Scientists in the U.S. put cows on treadmills to see how long they could walk before getting tired.
The results: Cows prefer to stand still rather than run. (Who knew?)
Why it’s ridiculous:
Cows are not training for marathons.
Farmers already know how much cows walk daily.
Half a million dollars was spent proving that cows get tired eventually.
6. Do Pigeons Gamble? (2010) – $600,000
A study investigated whether pigeons enjoy taking risks like human gamblers. Scientists put pigeons through a gambling-like experiment to see if they’d prefer small guaranteed rewards or bigger, riskier rewards.
The results: Pigeons sometimes choose the risky option over the safe one.
Why it’s ridiculous:
Pigeons don’t go to casinos or bet on sports.
Even if pigeons were natural gamblers, who cares?
$600K spent to prove pigeons sometimes take risks… Just like every other animal.
7. Can Rats Learn to Drive? (2019) – $1 M+
Scientists built tiny rat-sized cars and trained rats to drive them to see if they could learn complex motor skills.
The results: Yes, rats can drive tiny cars if trained properly.
Why it’s ridiculous:
No rat is getting a driver’s license.
We already know rats are intelligent—this didn’t need a million-dollar study.
Instead of giving rats their own Fast & Furious moment, they could have used the funding for actual neuroscience research.
The Ultimate Waste of Money
Science is important, but funding should go to research that actually benefits people. These studies prove that millions of dollars get spent on projects that add nothing to human progress—and sometimes, they just confirm what we already knew all along.
Next time you hear about budget cuts in important research areas, remember—somewhere, a scientist was paid to train a rat to drive a car.